EP31 - Our Biggest Life Lessons to Raise Your Consciousness

Shaista Fatehali: 00:00:04

Imagine being present, calm and connected, while creating a family environment where everyone can thrive.

Dimple Arora: 00:00:15

Welcome to the im mom parenting podcast, providing inspiration and actionable steps to manifest the meaningful and magical life you desire for you and your family.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:00:28

We are your hosts dimple, Aurora, founder of mindful evolution and Shaista Fatehali the daily founder of Thrive kids.

Unknown: 00:00:37

Thank you for sharing the I am mom journey with us. Let's get started.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:00:44

Hi, and thank you so much for joining us today Dimple and I thought we would switch things up a little bit and have more of a reflective conversation for today's episode. Now as we're recording this, we are well into mid November 2021. And 2020 do is just around the corner, I have a hard time even just thinking about that, because I I can't grasp that. I don't know how that happened. But 2021 has been quite a roller coaster of a year for many of us, including both Dibble and I. And today we're going to share some of our most profound lessons that we have learned in 2021.

Dimple Arora: 00:01:34

I love this reflective conversation. And it's not only this year that I've concluded these lessons, but over the course of my life. And we chose the deepest life lessons that we've learned. And we're happy to share them with you today because we want to embark on this conversation in order to share this wisdom. And although you may have heard some of these things before, this gives you an opportunity to reflect further, and maybe some of them are just reminders.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:02:12

Mm hmm. Yeah, I feel like, you know, for me, I feel like 2021 was, has been a real reflective year. And a lot of these life lessons, quote, unquote, I feel is a combination. And I really was able to tap into them in 2021. And really be put them more into awareness and into practice as well. So for example, one really great lesson that I have been in touch with this year, particularly is this aspect of this higher self. Now this is an ever going lesson that I've been having. But this year, I just really felt much more in touch with this concept of this higher self and knowing that there's a journey that we're all on. And I'm saying we are all on, because it's not just our journey and our self, but knowing as well that everyone else has their journey and their self with a capital S that they are striving towards. So there could be, for example, if someone has hurt your feelings, or anything of that matter, taking that perception that you know what, underneath all of that there is that true person and that true self and making that connection with them with your true self.

Dimple Arora: 00:03:51

I love that. I love that. Because in order to connect to our higher self, we do need to have some sort of connection to a higher power, I would say, right and growing up. I loved growing up with parents that share two different religions. I'll be honest, because what I heard growing up was that we are all one. And it doesn't matter if you attend a church, or a temple or a synagogue or a mosque, that we are all one human race. And whether you are in any house of a higher power or higher energy or unity, that you can still connect. And there's this interconnectedness amongst all of us being human, and having this blood running through our veins and having this heartbeat and so I I pass this on to my daughter And I feel having this perspective in life makes me more open to connecting to everyone else.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:05:12

Mm hmm, absolutely beautifully said beautifully said. And you talked a little bit about perspective. And that's another thing where I really felt as though this year, it really, I guess, last year too, but it really came into play for me, right. So perspective, like, everything that is happening in our lives, it seems really big in the moment, right? And just so important, and sometimes we feel as though it is like, we're just gonna, it's so big, we're gonna just die or something really big traumatic is going to happen. But when you put it into perspective, it's actually just a short time span, in this huge, expanded time that we actually have. I mean, of course, life is short, I know that but thinking about the occurrences that happen to affect us and thinking about how they compare to the bigger picture really does change your perspective.

Dimple Arora: 00:06:25

Oh, yeah. Because your perspective, your view and model of the world is so important. And when we shift our perspective, in any situation, whether we're facing very difficult adversity, or if we're looking for the good, what happens is, we actually find what we're seeking for we, we always find what we're looking for. And I always say that life is happening for us and not to us. And it's because we are here to evolve. We are these ever evolving humans. And so when something's happening to us, that is not very pleasant, I would say, are the time period where we just can't catch a break, or things are just really, really tough. There's probably some lessons in there, maybe we have to learn to trust or have more faith, or deepen our empathy or be more gentle with ourselves. Or even, maybe the situation is, is a catalyst for our growth. So there's so many reasons why we go through these ups and downs. And I think when we understand that there is this situation is serving a purpose, we're better able to change our perspective.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:07:47

Mm hmm. Yeah, absolutely. And knowing right, that it is sometimes difficult to see the long term, when all you know is the short term, exactly. Being in the present, and in the now. And it's not saying like, Okay, I know this, this experience is happening to me is making me feel certain ways. It's not saying that you shouldn't feel that way is this underlining awareness that we are able to move on, and we will move on?

Dimple Arora: 00:08:23

Exactly. And when we establish this perspective for ourselves, it helps us to better understand other people's view of the world and their perspective, because we can only interpret someone's behavior or actions, according to their model of the world. And when we start doing that, we end up having more compassion, more empathy, and a better understanding in our relationships.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:08:52

Yeah, absolutely. It kind of goes back to that concept of the higher self, right, that everyone has this higher capital S self, and knowing that everyone is on their journey. And when we're able to see that, you know, this person is at their spot of where they are at this moment. We're better able to meet them there, right?

Dimple Arora: 00:09:17

Yes, and this takes me into another lesson that has taken me a long time to learn is that you are not everyone's cup of tea. Yeah, nor do you have to be and it's okay. Because sometimes no matter what you do and how generous and loving you are to someone, they may not like you. And that's okay. And it's taken me a while to accept that. But I find that sometimes someone's capacity to receive that type of love or that generosity is not always there. And again, it comes back to a person's perception of the world.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:10:03

Mm hmm. Absolutely. That's such a great one actually, right? Because it does feel not so great when people don't like you. But again, having this perception both for ourselves and for the other person, right, that we're all on this path, and maybe that person doesn't like you, or doesn't have such a wonderful perspective of you. And it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with what's happening in their in their life.

Dimple Arora: 00:10:37

Yeah, and what they've experienced and, and this is why now I'm at a point in my life, where I'm able to give without the expectation. And, again, also taken me a while to learn this. So now I don't give out of obligation. And I don't give because I have to I do it because I want to and I expect nothing in return. And it's just something that I value for myself, if I want to do something. And I know that person is not going to say provide something to me in return. I'm okay with that at this point. And for example, like my, my language of love, one of them is gifts. So I love to give gifts, because this is the way I communicate my love. But not everyone's language of love is gifts, right? So you cannot expect that from everybody. And I'm okay with that. Now, giving because I want to

Shaista Fatehali: 00:11:45

I always have this idea in my head about just living in terms of service. And this has been embedded in my, my my own persona, since I was a child based in my community, the smiley community, it's all about service. But really tapping into that right and giving of yourself not having or expecting, I should say anything in return, any kind of recognition, in return any kind of promotions or titles in return, but just giving from this self, to the world, others community from a place that is connected to this higher being right. And I feel that when that happens, it just becomes a part of you and it becomes so whole. And when you're able to give in a way that is so whole things unexpectedly start coming back to you in the same fashion.

Dimple Arora: 00:13:02

So beautifully sad. And you're so right. It's it's this, the rewards come so profoundly in other ways that sometimes you're you're just so grateful and fascinated at how much you're receiving only because you're giving out and sometimes you may not even notice that you're receiving. But you are.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:13:35

Absolutely, and it can be. So that's why I think it's so important for this other life lesson to not take anything for granted. Right? Because things can be missed. And what we know with the pandemic, particularly things literally don't world will literally change overnight. Right? I remember and I'm sure everyone does, where one day, Broadway Disneyland was open. And the next day, it shut down, like what happened literally in an instant, right? And so appreciating what we have in the here and now. Because we know that it's not going to be infinite, it is going to go right, we are all we are infinite souls, but the physical representations that are around us are not in infinite. So really taking the time to appreciate the small that seems small and not taking it for granted.

Dimple Arora: 00:14:49

I love that because you're so right life can change in a second. And I always adopt the mindset of staying humble. Mm hmm. Because life can change in a second, when somebody is up, you may be down. But then in a second, they may be down and you may be up. And adopting that idea of being of service when somebody is down. And staying humble when you are rising is so critical, because I've seen it, I've seen it in my own life with my own eyes of people's lives changing in a second. And it's not. It's shocking when that happens. And that's why it's so important to drop our ego. Right, and operate from a place of less ego, and being more humble.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:15:45

Yeah, absolutely. And even just really focusing on the components in your life, that matter, because those are the components in your life that we often also take for granted. Right? So no matter how tired I am, it could be like 11 o'clock at night, if I haven't talked to my parents, I'll make sure I call them that night. Because even if it's for two seconds, because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring, going to sleep with mum and my kids are going to sleep always saying I love you. Because again, you just never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

Dimple Arora: 00:16:33

Yeah, and and with our kids as well. They're watching us right there. They're watching us. They're learning from us. And so the less ego that we have, and the more we show them how to appreciate the little things. That's the way they're going to learn how to live.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:16:54

Yeah, absolutely. Right.

Dimple Arora: 00:16:57

One of the lessons that I've learned over the years is that no one is coming to save me. Yeah, that's very great. And it's so true. But I'll tell you, about a time when, when I had left teaching, and I was very sick, I had become suicidal at one point. And one night, I was home alone. And my husband used to work very long work hours. And so I used to spend my days and my evenings alone, a lot of the time. And so I realized one night that it's just me, myself and I, nobody was going to help me to heal, nobody was going to help me to make changes in my life. Nobody was going to help me to make the decision to create the change. It was really up to me because people only change when the pain is great enough to create the change. And I'm I'm one of those people, I create changes, maybe not now, but back then I create changes when the pain is I cannot go for forward or further with that felt that change. So when I had that realization, I was ready to pull my socks up and be like, okay, dimple, you got this. You got a pep talk yourself. You got a pep talk yourself. I mean, I know there are many people that can support us and we are should be open to receiving help and support and love and guidance. But at the end of the day, who's making the changes? It's us

Shaista Fatehali: 00:18:40

with you. Yeah, absolutely. And how that affects us in various relationships, right? Because if you have a relationship, dependent on someone else, helping you to make that change, that autonomy, in your own self is going to be gone, right? In a relationship there is you the other person and the relationship as a whole. So having that awareness as you were going through this change is just so foundational, right? Because it helped you become aware that you know what it is me that has to take control. It is me that has the power to make the change. And you did you chose to make it and you took on that opportunity and just flew with it.

Dimple Arora: 00:19:31

That's a great point. And you know, part of being empowered in this lifetime is being able to create choices that allow us to create changes and transformation in our life. And I know a lot of times our sorrow and our suffering comes as a result of other people. And it's hard to have this connectedness with everybody else and have it dependent on our well being. But one thing I've learned is, I know everybody talks about the concept of forgiveness. And it is way easier said than done. But I've changed my perspective on the idea of forgiveness. And what I've learned is it's important to forgive ourselves for having these feelings of suffering, but also, that forgiveness is for giving us the opportunity to feel peaceful and free. And so thinking about forgiveness in a way that helps us to move forward, not because we're condoning what the other person did, or we are accepting what the other person did. But because we want that peace and freedom.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:20:50

Mm hmm. So it's giving us the power to move on. It's giving all of our parts the power to move on. Right. And, you know, you said it's a lot easier said than done. And it is. And it may be that that just takes smaller steps to get to that goal, but it's about just having that awareness to begin with.

Dimple Arora: 00:21:22

And everything starts with awareness. Absolutely everything and, and I think that those are some really profound lessons that, that we can take with us after this episode, and keep embodying them. As we keep embodying them, then we start to be more in a state of being and they become who we are, and just the way of life. And so I feel like embodying these lessons, and having courage, having courage in every situation, to keep going, is going to be really, really beneficial to all of us. Mm hmm.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:22:11

Absolutely. Wow, thank you so much for listening, and we would love to hear some of your life lessons in our Facebook group. So please join us there. And you will hear from us next time.

Unknown: 00:22:28

Thank you. Thank you for joining us on The I Am mom parenting journey. If you enjoy today's episode, please follow us and head on over to iTunes to leave us a review.

Shaista Fatehali: 00:22:42

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